headaches

i want to cry, but no. . . i'll write
i also want cut, or binge, alot of things come to mind right now that i'm so stressed.
i know better
i know i know better
i won't
or at least i'll try not too
the physical damage is not really worth it
got enough esophagous damage already
not eating give me the worst migraines
sigh
not sure what my move will be next
sleep perhaps? read a good book?
chatting with friends is good
yet hard. . .
no one can really understand, they all want you to just feel better
i wonder sometimes if i can't get rid of the depression by myself
if it's still attacking
people talk about how satan keeps fighting, keeps trying to get at you. . .
well, in times of stress like this i'm looking back and entertaining thoughts i shouldn't
though have i done much about it? no
i don't like it
i hate it
i hate how it controls me
i hate that i let it, yet truely can i help it?
i'd like to think yes
but the answer is probably no
chocolate seems to be a good solution, or the carmel in the fridge (for apples)
but i know where that will lead. . .
i'm so sick of crying. . .
so sick of thinking so much, yet walking the same circles. . .