honestly, lonely

so, for the past at least two weeks i have been simply alright, i have nothing to complain about, things are fine. the homework is homework, stuff i enjoy anyway. History of the modern world, no biggie, philosophy, love to, speech, yeah been there done that just learn the vocab. however, to be honest to myself i have been down. font would have to be dark blue, not green. not my normal self, fine, but . . . lonely. I really hate going from talking to people every day, or if not talking being able to read them by their physical language, but also being read. I miss my real good friends, the ones who really care. The thing is, they're still there, just as busy as i am. Taking the responsibilty for their educations and getting things done. I am making friends, however i still feel very much alone. Alone on a campus of at least eight thousand. Searching. . . yet somehow i think i know what i am searching for. God has blessed me with quite my fair share of angels to keep me along the straight and narrow, or really just to keep me here. I look around my desk at the pictures. Pictures from mayville, pictures from the lake, pictures from church, pictures from garrett, pictures from camp, people smiling at me who care. Yet why do they care? Something i'll probably always be asking. The love me, but their love is not their own, it comes from a greater source. Someone trying to reach me. Who now has lead me to a convienent spot where i have those angels within my communication, but not right here. An opportunity to learn to shift my wieght on him, not on them sigh, a great thing. So, that's my next goal. Walk with him to class, talk to him, listen, let my weight shift and maybe i'll be able to hold a bit more of it up as well. so yes, i'm lonely, but have a suspicious thought it is suppose to be this way. . .