Stress

This is going to be completely unorganized and crappy, but i don't care. I am over stressed. Overexhausted and to my limit. I don't know what to do for everyday my to do list gets longer. Crap keeps happening and i can't handle it all. I hate this. I should be able to do this, i got myself into most of these responsibilities, now i have to fulfill them and i can't. or haven't been. This frustration adds to my emotional mess and on days like today hurts, bad. I stood in the shower under steaming hot water enjoying the sting of my new scars. Most people would tell me i am insane for this, maybe i am, but it felt good to fell it. I hate this, i hate all of this. Today i have lost some of my hope for society. makes me want to be a reclous and live alone. Good quote i wish society was bulit on:
"It is better to live one day ethically and reflectively than to live a hundred years immoral and unrestrained." -Buddah

Golding was right, the problems with society stem from the problems of the individule. So my society is greedy and selfish, and i can't give anymore of myself to them but it never works. Nothing ever changes. I want to have hope, but they keep crushing it.

then there is me. I am addicted. i can't help it, and this is a problem that i need help with. I was doing good for a while, but we all know i haven't solved any problems. I simply need to deal with crap i don't want to. Find a way to cope with things. I am so tired. i want to crawl into my bed and stay there for the next week. but i have things to do tomorrow and things to get done for tomorrow. Oh, boy. I'm sick of crying, crying myself to sleep, just sick of hurting so bad.