The ups

Well, a great day. A wonderful weekend, and life feels good. Yes i FEEL good. Though i did eat too much today and have a stomach ache. That said there are a couple of things i need to say. Anyone reading this know that this is my page where i can put anything. Not neccesarily things I would tell anyone else. . . i warned you, you can't say i didn't. Somethings are very difficult. My throat seems to be getting better, sometimes it hurts but not as bad and not every time i swallow. Yet, when i get upset i still have a tendency to binge sometimes, then it's hell to keep it all down. Sometimes i just eat too much and i get a stomach ache, but sometimes i completely binge. That is when life sucks. But i've been working on things to do to help, walking helps, something outside and somewhat active. That's a plus, yet there are a few bad days, and those are the days i fear. Those are the days I can't do it on my own, yet hopefully i have surrounded myself with enough ppl to help me through those days. Now the cutting in alittle more difficult. I would guess because the easiest place to cut is in the shower. The sting was more with hot water. I don't know what it is about that physical pain, but sometimes it helps. It's the times when i most need comfort and feel completely exhausted and drained and lost, it's those times when i am afraid i will in my own privacy slip up. Or then there are the times when he yells and i get so angry, but i can't hurt him. Those are the times i fear I will mess up again. Though today is not one of those days. This weekend has been altogether good and I am happy. Though with my last happy day i fear i will fall hard again. Yet i don't know that i have much control over that. Just be more prepared about it. . . i guess. Well, i'm smiling, and having a great day despite my fears. I just wanted to record a bit.