Swinging doors

Mom says that our house now has swinging doors, i came home at 10:30 and Peter left at 11:15. They complain because we aren't home, we can't help with chores, mow the lawn, laundry, anything. But when we come home all they want to do is talk. . . but what to say? I love camp however I am ginding alot of things out and being able to sort my thoughts in a healthy loving enviorment, yet I can't tell them that. The drive from camp to home is 1 1/2 hours no radio. Long time to think, relfect, evaluate. But still dread the time spent here, how horrible is that? I really hate that i feel that way yet i do, very strongly. Annual Confrence is this week, always a good time. I love legislation and things of that sort. Lots of adults around, but ah! i'm an adult! Scary thought. I get very involved in the discussions and decisions we as delegates make for the people we represent. I've got to sleep, and pack yet, besides clean up the house before 7 tomorrow and have all my camp stuff because i have to guard wen. so i already have to leave confrence early i might as well just go straight there. Goodnight, i'll try to be more insighful soon.
Erin

New

Well, i do feel as if i am home. today we did a prayer labrinth for hours and it was great. calming, relaxing, yet forced me to see some things, i cried. it's really been awesome here, a family. i have been honest, i am sick of lying. miss my friends. . . badly, but am doing really great. have time to confront some issues. i will write more on weekends, promise. gtg,
~Erin

Torn

First of all, i love camp. More or less i love being completely surrounded in a christian atmosphere of encouragement versus competition, not being put down, and being able to be honest. I have old friends and new and it is all wonderful, not to mention the undescribable beauty. And i dread the long trips home for one reason only. My home. I love my sister and i want to be here for her, but otherwise. . . i hate it here. The judgments, the lies, the arguments, the gulit. It is hard to be home, except for a few friends. I miss Kelly terribly, someone who doesn't mind my silence, who is always there, who notices. And Emily. I miss Em, for the way she sees through my lies and my comments, always thinking deeper to where i am. I want to wrap them up and take them with me. I want to be here for them, the way they are for me, enjoy the summer together. Stay up late under the stars, laugh, talk, or not talk, just be there and i can't. Not as much as i want to. But i need to be away. I am torn between my desire to be with my friends and my need to be away from home. I will stay here, i will be online as much as i can, giving updates. Camp is outside and beautiful, and I am growing. I am becoming alright with myself in some instinces. It will all be okay. Be back soon,
~Erin